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IN JANUARY 1998, EXACTLY TEN YEARS AGO, A SAN MIGUEL BEER COMMERCIAL WAS AIRED AFTER A TWO-DAY SHOOT IN EARLY DECEMBER 0F 1997. THAT COMMERCIAL WAS SPECIAL TO ME, BECAUSE IT BROUGHT ME TO EUPHORIA, THAT UNFORGETTABLE DECEMBER NIGHT, WHICH WAS GOING TO BE A TURNING POINT IN MY LIFE. HERE IS WHAT HAPPENED AS I REMEMBER IT.
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“Sunny! Congratulations! We are so proud of you…”
“Who’s this,” I asked.
“Who else?! Your prettiest agent here in Cosmo!” she replied.
“Uhh… Netnet?!”
“Who else?!” she giggles. She was the agent at Cosmopolitan Philippines one that called me to go-see for the beer commercial.
“Hey… thanks!”
“This is your last day of shoot for San Miguel Beer, right?”
“Yeah… we still have a lot of frames to finish, though, so it will be a long day.”
“… probably til late, then.”
“Yeah… anyway, what’s up?”
“Well, we thought we should rest from the go-sees and celebrate your San Miguel Beer project together tonight with some guys from Cosmo, and some of the models you worked with at the candy commercial.”
“Hmmm… what’s the plan?” I asked.
“We are going to Euphoria around eleven, tonight, so we can spend some of your talent fee ahead of time,” she snickers. “Hopefully, by then you’re done with the shoot, and ready to party. We will also celebrate Tweetie’s birthday there.”
“Tweetie will be there? … and Grace?!” I must have sounded too excited.
“U-humnn… yesssss… Grace will be there,” I could hear the teasing tone in her voice. “We told her to make sure to be there, just for you.” She laughs.
“Well, I’ll be there with or without Grace,” I chuckled. “Grace will be a bonus.”
“Call me when you pack up, alright?” Netnet advised.
“See you tonight.”
“Enjoy the shoot, and make us proud.”
The San Miguel Beer Commercial shoot was being held at a building with nondescript façade, an outsider could have thought of it as a warehouse. But inside was full of action. The crew was busy for the second day. McCann-Ericsson had a deadline to beat and Benjie, the production manager, was not going to compromise anything. I was among the five guys that were chosen for this “Project Kidnap”, where one guy was being forced to sing karaoke, while others were teasing him with the beer. It was a fun shoot, but also utterly exhausting. Take upon take was tedious. Being in front of the lights all day and night was becoming a punishment, we were working for every centavo of the fat talent fees that we were getting. There was the plastering of our hands with wires that connect to a small stick of light pasted behind the beer bottles, sprayed with water in order to look chilled; those plasters were pasted on our skins and removed mercilessly several times in between frames. There was the dubbing part, too, where I was being made to say “lamig” in the chilliest possible voice I could muster. There was the disagreement with wardrobes, and the meticulous reviewing of the frames. Then there was the fun parts too, like the food, the special attention from the crew, the singing of the San Miguel Beer jingle, the chitchats in between takes, and the getting to know people and what they do to contribute to this big project that would air from January to March of 1998. The time passed by, and before I knew it, it was quarter passed ten in the evening. It was time to leave the dungeon.
My mind immediately shifted to party mode. It was time to celebrate. A full day of taxing shoot was not going to stop me from partying that night, and I was excited to see some of the people that I have met in the previous commercial that I did. I hailed a cab and went straight to getting showered and dressed ready for Euphoria. It did not take much time for me, and at this point, the usually heavy traffic in EDSA was easing up. By midnight, I was already scurrying down to the basement of the Intercontinental Hotel, with growing excitement, because even from the stairs, I could already hear stomping to the beat of rave music, people talking and cheering.
As I walked in, I realize the dance club was packed with people. Smoke was blurring the whole place from a couple of smoke machines around the room, definitely added to whatever emanated from the cigarettes of some of people in the dance floor. Surveying the crowd, it was obviously the typical yuppie night in Euphoria. Most of the people were probably unwinding after a busy day in Makati’s business district. I could see some foreigners too, or probably mixed Filipinos. There were many of them in these circles. I could also see some familiar celebrities in a corner table. The place was not very big, but the number of people made it quite difficult to immediately spot where the Cosmo gang might have been. So I decided to just start dancing on my own, inserting myself through the crowd of un-minding clubbers, until I would find them or they would find me. Some pretty ladies dancing in the ledge caught my attention, and for a while, I stopped and watched them dancing.
Suddenly, I felt a tap from behind. I looked and saw it was Tweetie.
“Hi, Sunny,” she greeted with her usual reserved smile.
“Tweetie!” I called back, and gave her a hug. “Happy birthday…” I handed her a small bottle of perfume from Vietnam that I inserted in my pocket as I left the house.
“Thanks… wow, thanks… and yeah congratulations! San Miguel Beer… wow…” she said.
“Thanks,” I smiled.
“Netnet is over there with Jenny and the rest… so let’s go.”
I walked right behind Tweetie. And from a few more heads in the crowd, I could already see the Lozano brothers, Joel and John. Then I could see Netnet and Jenny, and Marie, some other models and casters from Cosmo. Everybody was dancing, mostly just swaying the hips and waving their hands up in the air. They all said their casual hellos and congratulations, until I felt actually quite embarrassed about it all.
“Congratulations, Sunny,” whispered another one from behind me.
I turned around. It was Grace.
“Thanks,” I said casually.
She gave me a hug, allowing me to sniff that floral scent she had when we did that little dance routine in the candy commercial. Her long silky black hair was parted halfway, flowing over her shoulders, as she danced to a club remix of Jocelyn Enriquez’s “A Little Bit of Ecstasy”.
We were all dancing together, just being there, enjoying the moment.
Dancing has always been one of my outlets. I would dance to shake off my stress, I would dance to relax, and I would dance to enjoy the company of friends. It would have been appropriate to order a bottle of San Miguel Light, or Smirnoff Mule, but I was not ready to leave the floor yet. I was still feeling overwhelmed by the days work, and excited by the idea of endorsing a beer. With the loud music, there was no sense talking much about intimate or philosophical things. It was enough that I was with a company of people that I barely know, but are so much fun to be with.
I closed my eyes, listening to the beat of the music, mixed with the noise, and sporadic interjections of wooohooo’s and yeaaahh’s all around the room.
When I opened my eyes, the first thing I saw was the laser beam that circled around, showing rays of fog. Strobe lights flashed across the room, capturing snippets of people’s frozen dance moves.
I stopped. Something was happening. I looked around and I knew I was seeing slow motion of people’s movements, like I was in the middle of a slow human whirlpool. At first, I did not feel weird, and told myself that it’s the effect created by high-tech club lights and gadgets. So, I just watched, wanting to be amused, but as I looked at the faces of the people around me, I began to realize it was not just the strobe lights or the laser beams. It was happening. The world was in slow motion, and I could see people’s faces more clearly. I could see eyes wide opened, and saw emptiness and sadness. And these were faces of people I barely knew, but people who nonetheless I knew and was dancing with. I also do not know if it was in my head or somebody was actually saying something in the crowd, but I could hear some soft voice saying it:
“What are you doing here?”
“What are you doing here?”
I had the temptation to freak out and shout what’s going on, but I kept quiet and just closed my eyes. I could still hear the beat of the music, and the noise around did not diminish a bit, but there was a sense of being removed from the dance floor, and awakened to something inside me that was quiet .
“OK ka lang, Sunny? (Are you OK, Sunny?)” I heard someone say.
I opened my eyes. It was Jenny. And the dance floor was no longer turning. It was like nothing happened, and I just slipped back from a dream.
“Uhh… yeah. I just need a drink,” I replied.
I left the dance floor, stupefied, got a Cali Shandy from the bar, and stood there, watching the crowd still dancing, wondering what just happened. I could not make sense of it. The voice that I heard was still very clear: “What are you doing here?” It also seemed like suddenly, the world was different, and I was lost in it.
I caught Netnet’s eyes as she looked toward my direction. I signaled my thumb toward the door, while mouthing “I have to go…”
With a surprised look in her face, she came to me still dancing.
“Bakit??! (Why??!)” she saked. “You just got here.”
“I am suddenly not feeling too well. I guess I am tired. Long day, you know.”
“Yeah, I understand. Fine, maybe you should go home and get some rest. Let’s just settle the damages later.”
“Oh, I don’t worry… I will call you about what’s left of your talent fee,” she giggled.
“Aight, good night.” I said.
“Aren’t you gonna say goodbye to the rest anymore?”
“Never mind. Just tell them I had to go…”
With a bottle of Cali Shandy in my hand, I headed towards the door without looking back. Outside the hotel, the world felt fresh, and the lights of Christmas illuminated the busy streets of Makati. The wind blew some humid early Christmas breeze against my face. Inside me, reality was beginning to sink in. I was sad.
In no time, I was in bed. I blasted the air conditioner in my room and covered myself under the sheets. The world was already quiet, but in the darkness, I still could hear the voice of someone asking, “What are you doing here?” until it became, “What are you doing with your life?” and “what are you not doing with your life?’
The emptiness of that evening was unfathomable, and I slept with thoughts of time being wasted, and feelings of absurdity for all that I have been doing. Reality has sunk in. and I was caught by surprise. I was lost… and sad.
